Week Update

I think it has been quite a while, or a few days since I wrote something here.
This is actually surprising because a year or a few months would pass before I remember about his blog again and write something.

This week has been weird. I mean, it is kinda like the mellow week before the next week when we have our Physiology long exam and our Biochemistry departmental, and the following week with a ton of exams and practicals.

So what we did for this week was our lab conference reports. In physiology, I actually got praised by Dr. Cuizon. This was really surprising and both the class and Dr. Campomanes were shocked and I felt great with a side of guilty. I have never responded well when I did well and my friends didn't. Ana got a big lecture about her 4 minute overtime in her report. I mean, I thought that she should have known that she should only report for three minutes, but she prepared 20 slides in her powerpoint. I know that my report should only last 5 minutes, so I prepared 7 slides. Sure, she screwed up, and she also had a fault in it, and I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. ugh, survivor's guilt.

Aside from feeling survivor's guilt, I was feeling proud as well. I finished my report at exactly 5 minutes. Practicing the night before gave me a really good shot. Yeay!

We had a sleepover at Ana's last night. It was fun! There was food, chips and chocolate. I love sleepovers! and especially at someone's with a lot of stacked food in their house. yay!
Of course there was a matter of class with Dr. Maglonzo the following day, but whatever! I was the last to sleep that night.

We are probably gonna change our research already. And we have to hustle to get the paper done by November 3. It's gonna be a validation study, because we are gonna make a tool for assessment of Health-seeking behavior. yay or nay? I hope we can get through this.

Here's to October!

F*CKING thesis

I cannot mention enough how I hate doing thesis. Or research work Or DEFENSE!!!
UGH. My entire life is now back on the sinking ship of my despair. I cannot believe I let my hopes up for finishing my powepoint and anatomy sgd part with still 3 hours before Monday.
I was happy then I got a sudden reminder that there would be defense of our proposal TWO fucking WEEKS from now.

Ugh, there is no such thing as a happy place.
Plus, I know that we got a good grade last defense but that was a one-hit-wonder! I don't know if I am capable of doing such again! I don't even care about the thesis right now and the author of the questionnaire has not replied with the validity or reliability of their questionnaire. I hate myself.

Slash Shipper

Remember the time when I said that I was a closeted yaoi shipper? Well, right now (well actually a few months ago, wow it has really been a long time since I posted here) I am a proud slash shipper. It is just so much easier to read slash ships and when I meant slash ship I mean BL, I’m not yet the world of yuri which I am hoping a line I will not cross just yet. There are much better stories for BL anyway especially in archiveofourown.org.

And these days (I mean months) I have been fangirling over Bagginshield (Thilbo). I just don’t know why but I am so attracted and addicted to their pair. It has become one of my home base fandom (aside from the second generation Harry Potter).  This means that in whatever fandom I am currently obsessing over, when there are some gaps, I usually go back to these fandom and read fanfics, search fanarts and view musicvids. It makes me happy dammit. and this durin line of idiots, they just have this direct line to my feels and tears.

Also, I don’t usually say swear words, but recently I have been learning to. It’s very unlady-like but heck, I’m not a lady (not a proper one with the etiquette and the pinky and chin up kind of lady). I should really stop saying these swear words but I am under the impression that it makes my sentences more colorful and more passionate dammit.

Anyway, what I am actually doing right now is trying to get my writing mojo because f*cking thesis dammit. It is crushing my soul and my sleep. I know I have been procrastinating, this piece of shit but asdfghjkl. I hate thesis and I hate this so much, I just want to get it over with. Just one hour of defense and it will be done. It would either be a fail or a success (I am sorely praying for a successful one). And I hope anyway who would be reading this would also pray for my soul. Yes, my soul is at stake here. I don’t mean to dramatic but I swear the sanity of my soul might as well depend on the outcome of this f*cking defense. Ok maybe I should not be so dramatic. I am just so freaking nervous.

My heart is hammering and beating so fast, or is it just the 3^rd coffee of the night.

I have been also thinking of my lying. I keep on spouting white lies. Some of them are no big deal, but that is where it all starts. These white lies are baby steps. And these baby steps grow and develop to man steps and I don’t want that to happen but apparently my brain is locked on to the thought that “it is no big deal”. I need to do something about this.

I just realized that I am taking baby steps in lying so why don’t I take baby steps in telling the truth also!

Wow, writing down thoughts can really help. Maybe next time a research should be done about these journals. It probably has.

Ok. I really need to start on the final manuscript. So ciao.