Remember the time when I said that I was
a closeted yaoi shipper? Well, right now (well actually a few months ago, wow
it has really been a long time since I posted here) I am a proud slash shipper.
It is just so much easier to read slash ships and when I meant slash ship I mean
BL, I’m not yet the world of yuri which I am hoping a line I will not cross
just yet. There are much better stories for BL anyway especially in
archiveofourown.org.
And these days (I mean months) I have been
fangirling over Bagginshield (Thilbo). I just don’t know why but I am so
attracted and addicted to their pair. It has become one of my home base fandom
(aside from the second generation Harry Potter). This means that in whatever fandom I am
currently obsessing over, when there are some gaps, I usually go back to these
fandom and read fanfics, search fanarts and view musicvids. It makes me happy
dammit. and this durin line of idiots, they just have this direct line to my feels and tears.
Also, I don’t usually say swear words, but
recently I have been learning to. It’s very unlady-like but heck, I’m not a
lady (not a proper one with the etiquette and the pinky and chin up kind of
lady). I should really stop saying these swear words but I am under the
impression that it makes my sentences more colorful and more passionate dammit.
Anyway, what I am actually doing right now is
trying to get my writing mojo because f*cking thesis dammit. It is crushing my
soul and my sleep. I know I have been procrastinating, this piece of shit but
asdfghjkl. I hate thesis and I hate this so much, I just want to get it over
with. Just one hour of defense and it will be done. It would either be a fail
or a success (I am sorely praying for a successful one). And I hope anyway who
would be reading this would also pray for my soul. Yes, my soul is at stake
here. I don’t mean to dramatic but I swear the sanity of my soul might as well
depend on the outcome of this f*cking defense. Ok maybe I should not be so
dramatic. I am just so freaking nervous.
My heart is hammering and beating so fast, or is
it just the 3rd coffee of the night.
I have been also thinking of my lying. I keep on
spouting white lies. Some of them are no big deal, but that is where it all
starts. These white lies are baby steps. And these baby steps grow and develop
to man steps and I don’t want that to happen but apparently my brain is locked
on to the thought that “it is no big deal”. I need to do something about this.
I just realized that I am taking baby steps in
lying so why don’t I take baby steps in telling the truth also!
Wow, writing down thoughts can really help. Maybe
next time a research should be done about these journals. It probably has.
Ok. I really need to start on the final
manuscript. So ciao.
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