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I don't think I have been productive the last 6 weeks of the Break. Mommy Menchi is here from Cebu, and mom plans to go to Surigao with all of us, so yay for trip. We were supposed to have a sleepover, with the girls of batch 2010 but that was cancelled. I am kinda glad that it was cancelled because I knew I won't be able to make it.

We went to tita Rose's house because it's new year. We ate dinner there and while the grown-ups were talking me and myles were drawing and our subject was none other than the handsome Lee Pace <3 The cutie pie that he is, I have pledge my crush to him especially when I saw his role as the piemaker in Pushing Daises. That man is ADORABLE! with beautiful features and one of the best eyebrow game I have ever seen!

Once back at the nest, we immediately went back to our usual places and checked the internet. Well, I also helped janna in her report for english. I wrote some things in a manila paper for her (yes! something productive!)

And then there was a riot in the fb messenger with the girls of batch 2010. They will be meeting up tomorrow and of course I finally told them I won't be coming and there was a matter with Gigibb and about our batch going to sinulog next year! Wow, that would definitely be fun! We need to celebrate new year in cebu next year. Hopefully I remember to tell the parentals about this, like maybe 3months  before actual plans are made, then another reminder a month before to sure and to be really safe and all about a week or two before the date. 

Oh happy day.

welcome 2015 with a sizzling hot air

It’s the new year of 2015. The first think in my mind was probably “Thank God, the first thing we did was not burn a house”.  Ok, back track! Instead of firework this year, my mom thought that it would be nice to light up some lanterns. And since it is our first time, she bought three lanterns. We still got to see fireworks, we got up the balcony and had a 360 view of wonderful fireworks provided by our rich and festive neighbors! After all the fireworks we decided to light up the lanterns already. The first one was a fail because the struggle was real at lighting it up we ended putting a huge hole on the lantern. We still tried to light it up but it went down in flames inn our cemented runway in the garden, so it’s still good but my mom was already worried about the fire hazard it presented. The next lantern we were able to light well but while we were waiting for the hot air to accumulate, the side got accidentally burned. It was a relatively small hole and there was great difficulty for it to fly off. My mom’s worry increased because it was burning very well and it was flying low and she kept on navigating the lantern away from our house, unfortunately the wind was in the direction my mom feared. But still, the lantern was able to rise up, although achingly slow with all out heart near our throat for the possibility of causing a fire in the neighborhood. The last lantern, my mom and my lola were against it already, but we were able to convince them that this time it would be perfect!

And it was.

It was beautiful, our hard work, our baby, growing up in the wind. And I hope that 2015 would be just like that third lantern. Maybe even if at first there was a struggle and we didn’t get to fly the first lantern, we still kept on and on the second try, even if there was a hole in the second lantern, we realized that it would still fly.

And as we would keep on trying on things we would be doing this new year I hope that the third-time’s-the-charm would always work out because I will not be giving up on these things.

Happy New Year! 2015 be good to us <3

Extremities

Well, this is kind of embarrassing because it was so corny and I don’t know it really felt weird and I was surprised. It was a total shock. And wow I am stalling, even here—a type written document of my realization. Really, let me spare myself more words, it’s 1am and I’m really sleepy but I had to get this out.

It all started on the first wedding in our high school batch. Yes, Gabby’s wedding just in case you don’t remember. Misheda was right that this is kind of a big deal, I mean come on it was marriage. A holy ceremony, bonded in the eyes of the Lord. Whew. And well, we were only thirteen in our batch, so no surprise that some would like to always keep in touch and stuff.

Only Misheda, Ingrid, Aldwin and I were able to attend the wedding (that we were surprised was actually happening, because we did not know). Well, anyway because aldwin was there, of course he brought his bag of magic tricks and showed me some of the tricks during the ceremony. One of the tricks required my hands, and well I had a déjà vu. A sudden realization, like ‘what-the-actual-f*ck-am-i-thinking-of-this-is-not-me-at-all-shit-f*cking-hell’, hit me. Yup, like a full on force tsunami wave of the above realization. And what was it? Well, I remembered my dream.

I remembered holding hands, sleeping in one bed kind of thing. With a guy, that I am to embarrassed to write his name because ‘what-the-f*ck-IT-HAS-BEEN-SO-LONG-AGO’ kind of thing. And ugh, I hate that I feel embarrassed about it so I decided I had to write it down. Know that I maybe embarrassed but at least I am not embarrassed-to-actually-write-it-down kind of embarrassed. What’s more is that it felt kind of titanic-y?! I don’t now why I used that word but yes, totally that jack-rose-holding-hands-in-the-icy-waters-of-the-atlantic-holding-on-for-dear-life. Yesh, seriously f*ckng fluffy, and light and heart warming and sh*t :”|

And it scared me. It scared me how the whole holding hands thing can be so powerfully emotional.

That’s what I only remembered in my dream. I don’t know if I would still remember him in the future, if I read this entry again. I hope I do.

That is it. That is the totally embarrassing thing that I have been mulling in my head that I just had to write down. I think it has something to do with “The Wind is Rising” movie by Ghibli production. You’ll search about it for sure, or maybe watch it again, idk. It’s a pretty solemn movie yet something about it speaks to the introvert and romantic side of a person.

By the way, what is up with this day? I have a headache and sore throat (I took paracetamol and it eased of the pain) and I cut myself accidentally on my right ring toe (with the screen door) and my right index finger (with my nail).

Neuro Update

OHEMGGGG!!! I almost forgot to post this! hahahaha oh God thank you!
You see, I got 94/120 in my final exam in Neuroscience. I was devastated because it was not my target score! How I lamented of probably taking the remedials yet I am happy that I am not an irremediable!
And I was told that there would be a curve grade, so for sure I will have a higher grade but I still did not expect that I will pass the class.
So when I found out that the remedial exams will on the first of December I felt my heart sink and my legs to mush! How was I supposed to go to Manila if I was to have remedial exams! The post in our group says that a class officer will be texting you if you need to take the remedial. I was so scared because I expected to be in the Remediables!

But lo and behold, I saw in the post in the 1MedA class officers group (I realized that I am a class officer, although I am only an assistant treasure) that I am not part of the Remediable and the Irremediable! Blanche posted the classmates who were part of the remediable and the irremediable. I scanned the list over and over and OVER again! Making sure that I was not part of the list, that I ACTUALLY PASSED! YEAYYY!!!!! My heart soared with relief and happiness! No need to go back to Manila for that Remediable exams! Oh Thank you thank you LORD!

I was beside with happiness and yet I couldn't post it on twitter nor in Facebook because I didn't want anyone to know how I was over the edge of my grades in Neuroscience plus I didn't want my friends to think I was gloating. But whatever, now I am finally able to express this (aside from telling my sister anyway).

Break

The break got me all happy before it actually happened. Now, well I feel more nostalgic about medschool. I'm not doing anything productive and I hate that I have no initiative at all. And I want to swim but I'm having my period. It's totally annoying because the pool is just within reach!

I've been sleeping late everyday, waking up late too. I guess that's okay, I still get the enough hours of sleep but I waste the following day. I need to get back to the normal body clock.

I started reading the Dollganger series by VC Adrews. I found out that the ghost writer has written more for the name "VC Andrews" than VC Andrews herself! The first series I read from her is the Landry series. I loved it, I feel in love with it from the moment I saw it on my mom's table. She bought it from a bookseller and I was bored and wanting for a book so I got it (without permission) and read it. When I finished, I had to buy the next book and eventually the whole series. Anyway, The Dollganger series is more dark and gothic than the Landry series (made by the ghost writer). Oh how my heart felt heavy after reading the Flowers in the Attic! So I had to read the next book because I need the satisfaction of karma and revenge. The Petals in the Wind was good and satisfying, finally Cathy and Chris were together and yet what did revenge do, but mess up more lives that necessary? Although it was needed, needed to feel that the universe does give you what you deserve.

My sister and I also finished the season 2 of Devious Maids. The plot of the the second season is better than the first and we were surprised because the first season was really really good! Ha! How wrong we were, so much plot and drama plus it all came full circle! And that cliffhanger at the end of the final episode was more cliffhanger that the last season! Can't wait for the next season! :)

Afraid NeuroExam

I am so annoyed at myself for not being good at this!

I am not used to failing and I am so scared that I am loosing faith that I won’t fail. I need 96/120 or 80/100 in the neurology exam (it depends on the number of items) I am so scared. Scared for my whole freaking life right now.

And I can only express it here. I guess. I hate telling people my insecurities. I mean maybe sometimes to my sister when I am in the mood or if I just kept on thinking about it over and over again that I really have to tell someone. And that someone is my sister.

Blood makes it all right because they have no choice but to love you no matter what. But friends?, College or highschool? That is a completely another story.

I am just not comfortable enough to share those thoughts. Not yet. Not now, and maybe not ever.

Finals

Well, it's the finals week and I have been studying (more like cramming). And within the week, I have met up with my high school friends twice. Too many times than I dare to even imagine to spend time (and a lot of money) with them. It feels weird, knowing that I just realized that they will be a considerable part of my life. huh. Actually, I never thought I would continue to get in touch with them after college but here we are now. Still going to Starbucks for catch-ups and what-nots.

Friends really are forever.
Hahaha I can't believe I just realized that now, and what I meant this time is with conviction and real evidence from my real life and not just from stories, fan fictions or mangas.

I feel like I'm the most skeptical open minded person. (contradictions, although I'm probably not the only one)

Back to Histology :)