10/19/2014
I'm Tired
I'm tired of screwing myself over and over again. I know I want high grades but I'm not studying. Instead I sleep, watch a movie or a series. Or go to the internet and tumblr. Even when I don't have anything going on. I don't study. I hate myself so much.
![]()
10/18/2014
Week Update
I think it has been quite a while, or a few days since I wrote something here.
This is actually surprising because a year or a few months would pass before I remember about his blog again and write something.
This week has been weird. I mean, it is kinda like the mellow week before the next week when we have our Physiology long exam and our Biochemistry departmental, and the following week with a ton of exams and practicals.
So what we did for this week was our lab conference reports. In physiology, I actually got praised by Dr. Cuizon. This was really surprising and both the class and Dr. Campomanes were shocked and I felt great with a side of guilty. I have never responded well when I did well and my friends didn't. Ana got a big lecture about her 4 minute overtime in her report. I mean, I thought that she should have known that she should only report for three minutes, but she prepared 20 slides in her powerpoint. I know that my report should only last 5 minutes, so I prepared 7 slides. Sure, she screwed up, and she also had a fault in it, and I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. ugh, survivor's guilt.
Aside from feeling survivor's guilt, I was feeling proud as well. I finished my report at exactly 5 minutes. Practicing the night before gave me a really good shot. Yeay!
We had a sleepover at Ana's last night. It was fun! There was food, chips and chocolate. I love sleepovers! and especially at someone's with a lot of stacked food in their house. yay!
Of course there was a matter of class with Dr. Maglonzo the following day, but whatever! I was the last to sleep that night.
We are probably gonna change our research already. And we have to hustle to get the paper done by November 3. It's gonna be a validation study, because we are gonna make a tool for assessment of Health-seeking behavior. yay or nay? I hope we can get through this.
Here's to October!
![]()
This is actually surprising because a year or a few months would pass before I remember about his blog again and write something.
This week has been weird. I mean, it is kinda like the mellow week before the next week when we have our Physiology long exam and our Biochemistry departmental, and the following week with a ton of exams and practicals.
So what we did for this week was our lab conference reports. In physiology, I actually got praised by Dr. Cuizon. This was really surprising and both the class and Dr. Campomanes were shocked and I felt great with a side of guilty. I have never responded well when I did well and my friends didn't. Ana got a big lecture about her 4 minute overtime in her report. I mean, I thought that she should have known that she should only report for three minutes, but she prepared 20 slides in her powerpoint. I know that my report should only last 5 minutes, so I prepared 7 slides. Sure, she screwed up, and she also had a fault in it, and I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. ugh, survivor's guilt.
Aside from feeling survivor's guilt, I was feeling proud as well. I finished my report at exactly 5 minutes. Practicing the night before gave me a really good shot. Yeay!
We had a sleepover at Ana's last night. It was fun! There was food, chips and chocolate. I love sleepovers! and especially at someone's with a lot of stacked food in their house. yay!
Of course there was a matter of class with Dr. Maglonzo the following day, but whatever! I was the last to sleep that night.
We are probably gonna change our research already. And we have to hustle to get the paper done by November 3. It's gonna be a validation study, because we are gonna make a tool for assessment of Health-seeking behavior. yay or nay? I hope we can get through this.
Here's to October!
10/12/2014
F*CKING thesis
I cannot mention enough how I hate doing thesis. Or research work Or DEFENSE!!!
UGH. My entire life is now back on the sinking ship of my despair. I cannot believe I let my hopes up for finishing my powepoint and anatomy sgd part with still 3 hours before Monday.
I was happy then I got a sudden reminder that there would be defense of our proposal TWO fucking WEEKS from now.
Ugh, there is no such thing as a happy place.
Plus, I know that we got a good grade last defense but that was a one-hit-wonder! I don't know if I am capable of doing such again! I don't even care about the thesis right now and the author of the questionnaire has not replied with the validity or reliability of their questionnaire. I hate myself.
![]()
UGH. My entire life is now back on the sinking ship of my despair. I cannot believe I let my hopes up for finishing my powepoint and anatomy sgd part with still 3 hours before Monday.
I was happy then I got a sudden reminder that there would be defense of our proposal TWO fucking WEEKS from now.
Ugh, there is no such thing as a happy place.
Plus, I know that we got a good grade last defense but that was a one-hit-wonder! I don't know if I am capable of doing such again! I don't even care about the thesis right now and the author of the questionnaire has not replied with the validity or reliability of their questionnaire. I hate myself.
Bipolarity
I don't know why but even I find myself weird. I mean come one, one moment I'm the affectionate fluffy buddy and then the next I'm the next Ochie of the group.
Speaking of who, Ochie, she's having fun in USA right now, eating delicious food but in the expense of the weight gain seen in the american population. I tease her as being a couch potato though, meh we miss her already. Especially staying at her house and eating home food.
Anyway, Ochie is my prime example of no-touchy-touchy introvert so you get the comparison now right? (probably not because the reader cannot relate and I am too lazy to further elaborate on my friends)
Oh and we were able to go the mall a while ago, despite the flood in our street. It was not that deep and we were able to walk by the side of the streets. There was this yummy soft serve in the basement of the mall. They used corn as the main ingredient of the cone, I like it very much, in fact it totally filled my tummy but I was craving for something else, so I ate again. UGH, goodbye money hello more calories.
But my sister hated it because it threatened to destroy her braces, which were really expensive.
Then study time for me. Biochemistry, Anatomy SGD and Physiology LabCon ppt.
Can't wait for the break! Back to Butuan na please!
![]()
Speaking of who, Ochie, she's having fun in USA right now, eating delicious food but in the expense of the weight gain seen in the american population. I tease her as being a couch potato though, meh we miss her already. Especially staying at her house and eating home food.
Anyway, Ochie is my prime example of no-touchy-touchy introvert so you get the comparison now right? (probably not because the reader cannot relate and I am too lazy to further elaborate on my friends)
Oh and we were able to go the mall a while ago, despite the flood in our street. It was not that deep and we were able to walk by the side of the streets. There was this yummy soft serve in the basement of the mall. They used corn as the main ingredient of the cone, I like it very much, in fact it totally filled my tummy but I was craving for something else, so I ate again. UGH, goodbye money hello more calories.
But my sister hated it because it threatened to destroy her braces, which were really expensive.
Then study time for me. Biochemistry, Anatomy SGD and Physiology LabCon ppt.
Can't wait for the break! Back to Butuan na please!
Rain Rain Go AWAY
Remember when I used to place the rain in my 'okay' list, well that lasted for only a short time because right now I hate the rain.
I wanted to go to the mall in a warm Sunday afternoon, where I could pay my electric bills and Myles could withdraw and we could finally eat our (super duper) late lunch. But no, the rain had to express its raindrops at the time that me and Myles were ready to go out!
I am wearing pants, and since I needed to get my laundry before I forget it. I braved the strong rain and got utterly wet. UGH.
![]()
I wanted to go to the mall in a warm Sunday afternoon, where I could pay my electric bills and Myles could withdraw and we could finally eat our (super duper) late lunch. But no, the rain had to express its raindrops at the time that me and Myles were ready to go out!
I am wearing pants, and since I needed to get my laundry before I forget it. I braved the strong rain and got utterly wet. UGH.
10/11/2014
Saturday Sleep-A-TON!
I didn't know I was that sleep deprived!
But apparently my saturday was all about me sleeping. All day on the bed was actually really nice, no disappointments, no expectations and no people around. It was all about me and surprisingly I had no recollections of my dreams.
At about 6pm, I decided to wake up and start my day. I cooked dinner, watched Awkward with Myles. Actually we finished season 3 already! It was such an addicting show that demands to watched episode after episode after episode. It was very convincing, so much that when Jenna and her parents were eating chips, I had the sudden urge to eat chips, and so did my sister.
We actually went out twice this night, the first time was for chips and drinks, and the second time was for Army Navy's burger and a 1.5 liter of coke.
The second time was a bust. And it was fitting for the tv series I was watching because it was an awkward meet and greet in the middle of the street.
My sudden realization that it was indeed Miko and a couple of his friends on the middle of the street was a shock to me, so my instinct was to greet but at the moment I have forgotten his name, which happens all the time for me. I am so bad with names! Anyway, my next instinct was to 'pssst' at him, which as what my sister said, was really WIERD. Ugh. And his instinct was a greet hug.
Humiliating for me because, he didn't recognize me immediately, and I don't do hugs that much. I was told that I was a very awkward hugger thus me avoiding them. And we were not really that close friends…and stuff. And he is cute, and tall and really really nice. He was the one who gave me episodes of Walking Dead.
Whatever, I'm just gonna brush it off like the cool hearted girl that I actually am [I think, or I assume I am].
Here I am now, actually wanting to vomit out all the food that I had ingested this night. But I hate vomiting so that is a no go.
![]()
But apparently my saturday was all about me sleeping. All day on the bed was actually really nice, no disappointments, no expectations and no people around. It was all about me and surprisingly I had no recollections of my dreams.
At about 6pm, I decided to wake up and start my day. I cooked dinner, watched Awkward with Myles. Actually we finished season 3 already! It was such an addicting show that demands to watched episode after episode after episode. It was very convincing, so much that when Jenna and her parents were eating chips, I had the sudden urge to eat chips, and so did my sister.
We actually went out twice this night, the first time was for chips and drinks, and the second time was for Army Navy's burger and a 1.5 liter of coke.
The second time was a bust. And it was fitting for the tv series I was watching because it was an awkward meet and greet in the middle of the street.
My sudden realization that it was indeed Miko and a couple of his friends on the middle of the street was a shock to me, so my instinct was to greet but at the moment I have forgotten his name, which happens all the time for me. I am so bad with names! Anyway, my next instinct was to 'pssst' at him, which as what my sister said, was really WIERD. Ugh. And his instinct was a greet hug.
Humiliating for me because, he didn't recognize me immediately, and I don't do hugs that much. I was told that I was a very awkward hugger thus me avoiding them. And we were not really that close friends…and stuff. And he is cute, and tall and really really nice. He was the one who gave me episodes of Walking Dead.
Whatever, I'm just gonna brush it off like the cool hearted girl that I actually am [I think, or I assume I am].
Here I am now, actually wanting to vomit out all the food that I had ingested this night. But I hate vomiting so that is a no go.
10/10/2014
It's 12:03AM
Just survived one of the most mentally exhausting day in my medschool career, so far.
I had a report in PrevMed which was about Influenza A, B, C and AH1N1, there was a long exam for Histology, practicals for Anatomy and we had to pass the chapter 1 of our thesis. And as usual, I was cramming everything.
Motto for the day: NO REGRETS! Do what you can, to the best of your ability during the allotted time.
Btw, wwww much while I am writing here, I just killed a mosquito and it was a blood bath. I am too lazy to go back upstairs to get myself some alcohol. YUCK!
I think I only slept for 2hours, more than what some people had but still, it is not something that should be repeated!
Anatomy pracs was a nightmare! I got screwed by my indecisions once again. Being in the last group for the practicals was really dreadful, it made me too calm before I went in for the practicals that my nerves got the better of me during the test. UGHHHH moment! but I did not leave a blank, so that is that.
After the long day, our subsection and some other friends ate outside. Somewhere in a little place in Rosario street. It was very crowded and we just ate street food like Kwek-kwek, potato roll, fish ball etc. It was delightful until I had to pay.
Yes, I admit to be very frugal. I have my moments. But I really need my money from Trisha already. I getting broke and I just withdrew money yesterday! It is so ANNOYING! I HATE MONEY MATTERS! If I was the one who ordered too many that I got full and wanted some else to eat half of my food, I would not let the other person pay for it! Especially if it was just street food, I am not that frugal. And so, I decided that money was important and to pay my dues with a heavy heart.
To continue to torture myself, I did not get my sleep, instead I downloaded AHS: Freakshow, and watched it. It was creepy as fuck! I mean the scary clown murdering people and that scene where the clown chased the girl? Total psyche trauma for those with soft hearts. Can't wait for the development of plot and the appearance of the lovely Emma Roberts! YAY!
And I also am eager to download and watch LOK s4ep2. I have seen pictures of old Toph and I cannot wait to see her contribution to the plot of the last season.
![]()
I had a report in PrevMed which was about Influenza A, B, C and AH1N1, there was a long exam for Histology, practicals for Anatomy and we had to pass the chapter 1 of our thesis. And as usual, I was cramming everything.
Motto for the day: NO REGRETS! Do what you can, to the best of your ability during the allotted time.
Btw, wwww much while I am writing here, I just killed a mosquito and it was a blood bath. I am too lazy to go back upstairs to get myself some alcohol. YUCK!
I think I only slept for 2hours, more than what some people had but still, it is not something that should be repeated!
Anatomy pracs was a nightmare! I got screwed by my indecisions once again. Being in the last group for the practicals was really dreadful, it made me too calm before I went in for the practicals that my nerves got the better of me during the test. UGHHHH moment! but I did not leave a blank, so that is that.
After the long day, our subsection and some other friends ate outside. Somewhere in a little place in Rosario street. It was very crowded and we just ate street food like Kwek-kwek, potato roll, fish ball etc. It was delightful until I had to pay.
Yes, I admit to be very frugal. I have my moments. But I really need my money from Trisha already. I getting broke and I just withdrew money yesterday! It is so ANNOYING! I HATE MONEY MATTERS! If I was the one who ordered too many that I got full and wanted some else to eat half of my food, I would not let the other person pay for it! Especially if it was just street food, I am not that frugal. And so, I decided that money was important and to pay my dues with a heavy heart.
To continue to torture myself, I did not get my sleep, instead I downloaded AHS: Freakshow, and watched it. It was creepy as fuck! I mean the scary clown murdering people and that scene where the clown chased the girl? Total psyche trauma for those with soft hearts. Can't wait for the development of plot and the appearance of the lovely Emma Roberts! YAY!
And I also am eager to download and watch LOK s4ep2. I have seen pictures of old Toph and I cannot wait to see her contribution to the plot of the last season.
10/09/2014
Not Knowing
Yes, I have been slacking off. Yes, I have sacrificed quizzes and study times for my laziness.
And yes, it has bitten me so hard in my ego.
We have our little (or is it little when we are about 16-18 people) study group in Cafe Khivan. It's a neat coffee shop, I like studying there. They have this awesome wooden furniture, it's not so comfy that one could fall asleep there, so very conducive for studying!
We rent a room so that our study session could be more private and easier to make noise without disturbing other customers.
Today we were studying Anatomy and Histology because of practicals and long exam, respectively. I am usually quite because I do not know anything, well only a few things but now so much as the others.
And that one time, I try to say something, it comes out wrong. Not is it only wrong but I have confused the word with something else. UGH, embarrassing!!! and it was recorded!
Yes, grabe ang pagka-LUTANG ko.
I do not want that to happen again!
I need to put more effort in my Anatomy!
And my Histology. Well, in short everything!
![]()
And yes, it has bitten me so hard in my ego.
We have our little (or is it little when we are about 16-18 people) study group in Cafe Khivan. It's a neat coffee shop, I like studying there. They have this awesome wooden furniture, it's not so comfy that one could fall asleep there, so very conducive for studying!
We rent a room so that our study session could be more private and easier to make noise without disturbing other customers.
Today we were studying Anatomy and Histology because of practicals and long exam, respectively. I am usually quite because I do not know anything, well only a few things but now so much as the others.
And that one time, I try to say something, it comes out wrong. Not is it only wrong but I have confused the word with something else. UGH, embarrassing!!! and it was recorded!
Yes, grabe ang pagka-LUTANG ko.
I do not want that to happen again!
I need to put more effort in my Anatomy!
And my Histology. Well, in short everything!
10/08/2014
Being Destructive
There are so many ways that I could start this, but really I hate how I am putting myself up for another sacrifice. It's a bit shallow, but I do care for my grades, and here I am, I skipped my make-up Physio class and the remaining time I had, I used it for sleep, read fan fiction and watch season 3 of Awkward.
I will come back to this post one day and totally blame myself.
song inspiration: Break the Rules
"I don't want to go to school, I just want to break the rules"
Maybe my rebellion phase has not fully gone away. (If you call not studying and not doing anything productive, a rebellion) God, I am lame.
![]()
I will come back to this post one day and totally blame myself.
song inspiration: Break the Rules
"I don't want to go to school, I just want to break the rules"
Maybe my rebellion phase has not fully gone away. (If you call not studying and not doing anything productive, a rebellion) God, I am lame.
New things
I got this little blog of mine a new name and a new look. Although not that much effort has been placed, (after all, I just hovered my mouse on a design and template and clicked the one that I like more) I like the idea of new things. A new outlook maybe?
Whatever, this kind of attitude of mine only last for a short time.
![]()
Whatever, this kind of attitude of mine only last for a short time.
Awkward
I just marathon-ed two seasons of Awkward in two nights. It is already a feat that I am both proud of and dreaded. After all, I am in Medschool, how can I have so much time watching series or even marathon one?! This has given me bad consequences, things that I hope never to have shared with anyone. Like, not actually able to study on my quizzes, loose my sleep which in effect lead me to wake up late, leaving no time to actually ready myself for the day (shower, breakfast and packing my stuff for school).
It was dreadful yet, I don't feel that much dread once I got settled in for the day.
Okay, speaking of Awkward, this is why I wanted to post something today. Let me just place in a timeline. I marathon-ed the first season last Monday, and the second season yesterday. Today I have no quiz the following day so I am a bit careless. I decided I have time to internet, tumblr, twitter, pintrest and whatnot.
I miss being not stressful. I want to be able to write in this blog more. And just like Awkward, I don't think anyone would be reading this, well, anyone that I would know in my personal life anyway; and I hope it does not come to the point that someone in my personal life would actually read this.
Please do not judge my writing skills, I do not claim to be an author or a writer and I do not reread nor do I edit much of these posts of mine.
Let me just say that this week is quite the hell week. It is quiz after quiz after quiz EVERYDAY! tomorrow is a relief, a relief that would have to be used for our reports on friday. UGH!!!
Prevmed is getting cool for me already, I like our professor so even though it is this subject, I can actually tolerate it, unlike the Family Prevmed. Now, I only have the ClinEp subject to have to annoyingly deal with. I HATE RESEARCH!!! So may things to have to write about and DEFEND! Sure, it is the core of improving our future but it is just so annoying. I have these moments of actually thinking that research is worth it, but that only comes after the research is done. I AM SUFFERING DURING ITS COURSE.
By the way, I lost my phone after or maybe even during the Foam party. It's annoying and I hate having to tell mommy that I lost my phone but i am glad to actually have lost it. I did not really like that phone, sure it has endured many accidental falls but it is just so damn difficult to type in that small screen. I have big hands/fingers and it's touch screen. So do the math because it equals annoyance.\
What else can I talk about, now that my mind has been wondering about the past week[s].
Korra is back btw! YAYYYYY!!!!! And I love her new look! The short hair thing gives her the impression of physical power. Plus Korra was fighting in a earth kingdom fight ring. (see how my mind makes easy connections and references).
Anyway, I guess that is it for now. I hope that in the next post I would write something shorter because I would only be writing about my day. (Which shouldn't be too long nor exciting)
P.S. I felt like this is only one-sixth of the rants that I never tell anyone, even my closest friends (but sometimes my sister).
![]()
It was dreadful yet, I don't feel that much dread once I got settled in for the day.
Okay, speaking of Awkward, this is why I wanted to post something today. Let me just place in a timeline. I marathon-ed the first season last Monday, and the second season yesterday. Today I have no quiz the following day so I am a bit careless. I decided I have time to internet, tumblr, twitter, pintrest and whatnot.
I miss being not stressful. I want to be able to write in this blog more. And just like Awkward, I don't think anyone would be reading this, well, anyone that I would know in my personal life anyway; and I hope it does not come to the point that someone in my personal life would actually read this.
Please do not judge my writing skills, I do not claim to be an author or a writer and I do not reread nor do I edit much of these posts of mine.
Let me just say that this week is quite the hell week. It is quiz after quiz after quiz EVERYDAY! tomorrow is a relief, a relief that would have to be used for our reports on friday. UGH!!!
Prevmed is getting cool for me already, I like our professor so even though it is this subject, I can actually tolerate it, unlike the Family Prevmed. Now, I only have the ClinEp subject to have to annoyingly deal with. I HATE RESEARCH!!! So may things to have to write about and DEFEND! Sure, it is the core of improving our future but it is just so annoying. I have these moments of actually thinking that research is worth it, but that only comes after the research is done. I AM SUFFERING DURING ITS COURSE.
By the way, I lost my phone after or maybe even during the Foam party. It's annoying and I hate having to tell mommy that I lost my phone but i am glad to actually have lost it. I did not really like that phone, sure it has endured many accidental falls but it is just so damn difficult to type in that small screen. I have big hands/fingers and it's touch screen. So do the math because it equals annoyance.\
What else can I talk about, now that my mind has been wondering about the past week[s].
Korra is back btw! YAYYYYY!!!!! And I love her new look! The short hair thing gives her the impression of physical power. Plus Korra was fighting in a earth kingdom fight ring. (see how my mind makes easy connections and references).
Anyway, I guess that is it for now. I hope that in the next post I would write something shorter because I would only be writing about my day. (Which shouldn't be too long nor exciting)
P.S. I felt like this is only one-sixth of the rants that I never tell anyone, even my closest friends (but sometimes my sister).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)